There is a part of me that is definitely not looking forward to next week, and yet there is a part of me that is very excited about the healing that is to come. Right now I'm bouncing around a bit in my head between fear and strength. I guess that is pretty normal. I've been going like gangbusters to ready my house, and get all my "stuff" done, so I can 'not think' about my to do list for awhile. One thing I do know from this journey so far. It is that the support, both in prayer, and in notes, and physically, of friends and family is absolutely hugely important to me and my handling of this situation in which I find myself. This certainly was not anything that I had planned for my summer, or any other time... My Bible is glued to my side most of the time now. It truly is God's living, breathing Word. I find my most comfort there. God tells me in Deuteronomy 31:8, "Do not be afraid. The Lord will go before you and will be with you. He will not fail nor forsake you." And in Jeremiah 30:17, He says, "For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord." How amazing to know that He has already visited my operating room, and will be there during my operation, and will not leave me. I have known for a long time, that when life gets very difficult, and you have reached the bottom of the rope, He is below you holding you up. He is always there. And that's a very good thing, as Martha Stewart would say.

MY STORY!!!
Ok, so it took me three times to type my story right, where I wanted it to be. I'm the worst at this blogging thing, but here goes.

I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and breast cancer, stage 2, in June, 2009. I had a complete thyroidectomy around July 15th, and have been through more testing than I care to remember for everything else. I also had a surgical biopsy (under general anesthesia) on my pancreas for a mass ( benign!), and I have had tests on one of my adrenal glands, which I don't know the outcome of yet- but the biggest thing for me is what's coming up next Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009. A bilateral double mastectomy with reconstruction from my abdomen- a 10-16 hr. surgery. I'm a little dis-whatever with that- it's long and pretty ugly- alot of pain- ok- I will just think of Jesus on the cross- that was really alot of pain.
Then 5-7 days in the hospital, and 2-3 months of recovery. I plan to beat those odds, but I will do whatever I'm supposed to do to get well.
That is the super short version of my summer and illness. I want you to know that in everything God has proven Himself to be MORE than faithful and true, and has shown Himself to me many times through His Word. The longer I live, the more I realize that He is in the middle of our trials always. My mother died of breast cancer at 64, and I was granted the privilege to be there at the end, and He proved Himself true. Now I face this battle, and I have seen Him with me at my darkest times. What a precious journey this is- to walk with my saviour through a dark tunnel and know He is right by my side the whole way. I will give Scripture later, but it is late, and I need to go to bed now. I'm very human, not anyone special, except to the Lord, and my husband :), and it's late. My daughter made this blog for me, and I'm going to try to keep it up for the long haul. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers (and sisters), whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develps perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4. A lofty goal, at the very least!